Honorable Mention: Doughnuts, Blueberry Pancakes, Belgian Waffle, Bacon, Bagels, Home Fries, Hash Browns, Corned Beef Hash, French Toast, Biscuits and Gravy, Steak and Eggs, Omelettes (of all types), Scrapple, Lox, Nova, Bloody Mary
#5 - Shit on Shingles
It's a Navy thing that my grandfather taught me, combining all the best parts of toast, gravy, and chipped beef. Totally delicious, and the perfect fuel for a day spent kicking asses and taking names. Plus, you get to use profanity when you talk about it. Don't like chipped beef? Just use sausage gravy, it's basically the same effect. I like this better than biscuits and gravy because the toast tends to not get so soggy so quickly. SoS is best if you use a whole-grain toast, something that can stand up to the chipped beef.
#4 - Corncakes
Pancakes made from cornmeal. Much more toothsome and substantial than a regular pancake, they give you a satisfying crunch around the edges, and you don't feel that tinge of nausea after you eat them. Great with syrup, great with applesauce, even better with honey, best with blackberry jam. These babies hold butter like a champion. Would have been #1 on this list if it weren't for the next three things...
#3 - Gashouse Eggs (aka Egg in the Basket, One-Eyed Monster, Alabama Eggs, Bird's Nest, Cowboy Eggs, Egg in the Hole, One-Eyed Jack, Moon Eggs, and Rocky Mountain Toast)
Not one that I think many people know about, which is too bad because they are: a) easy to make, and b) great for kids. It's like a wonderful combination of savory french toast and an over-easy egg. My favorite thing about gashouse eggs is how the yolk permeates the toast in the middle, but not around the edges. so the outside is crispy/crunchy, the area around the egg is moist and fluffy, and the egg itself is.. well... an egg. But don't make these if you don't like runny yolks! Bonus points if you throw a piece of American cheese on the top and melt it a little at the end of cooking. SUPER bonus points if you hit it with some sausage gravy or chipped beef.
#2 - Eggs Benedict
Good Lord man, this is like breakfast nirvana. The only issue is that so many people and restaurants make it incorrectly. The hollandaise sauce is intimidating, and easy to screw up. But with just a little bit of practice (and a lot of TLC) it's not so difficult to pull off. Try making it with smoked salmon instead of the ham -- it makes it even better. (Note: Learning how to properly poach an egg should be a weapon in every home cook's arsenal. You can eat those on their own, they are super easy to make, take less time to cook than a freaking hard boiled egg, and you can use them to top lean meats - especially salmon - and salads. Plus, poaching eggs makes you sexy to the ladies.)
#1 - Alaskan Waffle
It's just a fucking waffle with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. It is perfect in its simplicity.
 |
| BOOM. |
Ned
#5 - Fresh Fruit
In my adulthood I have begun to see the wisdom behind what our blessed mother commerce has been trying to sell me along with a better way to get an erection: fresh fruit in the morning. Now mother commerce may not be in your face about it, but every breakfast commercial has some sort of fruit in a bowl in the background. Fresh fruit gives you that quick start sugar, and helps to quench the thirst you built up sleeping. Breakfast without fruit is breakfast of the ignorant.
#4 - Egg McMuffin
I have spoken of my love for the Egg McMuffin before. It is the perfect size, shape, texture, and combination of elements. Herb Peterson was a genius and can rest in heaven knowing he improved the world one happy ass smile at a time. Well done sir, well done.
Warm Bagel + Jalapeño Spice + The cool cream + Bacon + Scallion = Best bread product you have ever eaten. I don't know which Mid-western Mexican Jew came up with this, but this unholy alliance proves American Innovation is still light years ahead of the rest of the world.
#2 - Bacon
Look at that..... You weren't hungry and the someone was offering up bacon and things just got a lot better.
#1 - Waffle House Triple Hashbrowns Scattered Smothered Covered Peppered and Topped
The only reason they don't call it Hash Brown House is because of the drug reference. The best breakfast is available 24 hours a day.
Waffle House Triple Hashbrowns Scattered Smothered Covered Peppered and Topped will cure that in life which is wrong. I would eat this everyday and never die because this food heals. (Screw Mushrooms by the way. I don't need no Fungus in my Food.)
No comments:
Post a Comment